My daughter and I made it home safe and sound driving across the country for the holidays. We had some laughs and some serious talks along the way. One of the things that came up is that it has been difficult for her to understand why I haven't been home doing the homemaker thing I did when she was little. She has tried to be supportive but basically told me that she just doesn't get why I had to move away from our home to start a business now. She said it appeared that I was deliberately abandoning our family. That's a tough one for a mother to swallow. Justifying taking steps to follow my passion can be seen from many angles. We took some time to be silent and think about where to take our conversation -- it had to be in a direction that would be constructive to building a stronger relationship.
I plugged myself in to a coaching call I received last week. It was just what I needed to hear. The messages: 1) I have to continue breathing without letting go 2) I need to be known as a person of persistence and endurance -- persistence is a habit 3) I have to stick to one thing until I get there 4) deciding to be persistent is a defining factor for the passion that drives me 5) it's important to water and fertilize my dreams and nurture the seeds within me and 6) I WILL be known for completing challenging tasks.
For some reason the ROCKY movies popped into my mind. I guess because Rocky seemed to be a man always following his dreams, nurturing the seed within and known for completing challenging tasks. The underlying theme in EVERY movie was that until he had the full support of his wife, his training was that of an average man -- he trained in the realm of mediocrity. Adrian was sensitive and shy and did not understand why he had to be in the spotlight and fight. Her lack of understanding and her sense of duty to love and support him meant showing opposition toward an event that would put him in danger. She was protecting him. She was also taking counsel from her fears. The turning point of the movie, when the music ramped up and the energy of the plot came alive was ALWAYS after Adrian lent her love, support and belief to the ideals that drove Rocky to test his own limits -- she demonstrated selflessness, courage and respect for the passion that beat in his heart to do what he knew all along he was capable of achieving with her support backing him.
My daughter and I resumed our conversation. I quizzed her on her recollection of the moral in the Rocky movies. She got the point. Tears welled up in her eyes and she said, "I'm sorry Mom. It's not my dream so it doesn't matter if I understand it. I want you to know that I love you and I want to see you succeed. You deserve my support. I'm sorry I was being selfish." A happy ending for sure! I can't follow my heart and have my family condemn me for it. Their love and support means everything to me!
There's one more principle in addition to the concepts that we not only must be persistent and have the loving support of our families to be all we can be but that we need a team of people backing us in case there is ever a time we need to be carried -- even for just a little while.
Chris Waddell, the most decorated male skier in paralympic history, illustrates this point beautifully. In short, he had a goal to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. He set out on his journey with 8 team members and 61 African porters and guides to accomplish an UNASSISTED 6.5 day climb to the top. Day by day, one revolution of his custom built hand bike at a time moved him closer to the top. There came a point he could not make a full revolution of the pedals to traverse the impossibly rocky terrain. His team had to carry him 100 of the 13,000 feet. He felt defeated. He expressed his disappointment to his teammate, Dave that he could not claim to have made the climb completely unassisted. Dave replied that no one climbs a mountain alone. Here's his story if you want to read it in detail: http://www.one-
So it is with us. We don't climb our personal mountains alone. To succeed we need people to believe in us, support us and sometimes carry us. In fact, in 2011 many times my friends, family and colleagues carried me. I needed to ride on their energy, power and persistence. I am grateful to have such incredible, encouraging support until I could get back on the path and continue climbing along side of them. We are in this together!
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