I am finishing up my 2011 with a greater understanding for who I am and what I want out of life and an even greater appreciation for my family and the blessing it is to have their love and support. I have lived a lifetime in this year alone and have done some things that I never could have dreamed up. I was compelled to live this year in a manner unlike any other year of my life. Although my theme for 2011 was AUTHENTICITY, it was truly a year of TRANSITION. I transcended the barrier of excuses of why I couldn't just live my life on my terms. I learned to get out of my own way. I learned that I am responsible for generating the kind of positive energy that makes EVERYTHING possible. The parts of my character in which I have been weak and yielding in years passed became glaringly obvious. I faced them. I took responsibility for them. And then I changed them to suit the woman I envision myself becoming. I'm grateful for my weaknesses--they are becoming my strengths as I pursue my passions and purpose in life.
I'm sure that 'traveling across the country to discover my deepest desires' has a romantic ring to it, but a good share of it was spent facing fears, shedding tears and sending up prayers. I struggled to understand how to let go of others' expectations of me (many of which were standards I was holding myself to) and to just live according to my heart. I spent months journalling and repeatedly asking myself the questions, "What is your purpose here on earth?" and "What do you want to do with your life?" In answering these questions I faced some personal challenges: I had to let go of how I wanted to be perceived and re-connect with my divine nature and purpose. It required tearing down walls that protected me from being disappointed when life didn't go as planned. It required giving up my personal history so I wouldn't have to live up to it anymore. It required a personal decision to live a better life and shed negative thinking like "what if I'm not good enough, smart enough, deserving enough". I made an agreement with myself to be completely vulnerable, transparent and unconcerned with the good opinion of others. I made a conscious decision to love unconditionally -- even when it couldn't or wouldn't be reciprocated. Love transcends all things.
My biggest lesson learned, without a doubt, is that the meaning of being authentic, to me, is to LOVE unconditionally. It is who I inherently am. To love myself, my family and my fellowman feels right. To love what I do and do what I love is to live life on my terms. At the end of the day, it's the relationships I build and the love we share that makes everyday in complete harmony with my purpose. I find great joy in serving the ones I love. I've learned that loving without judgement brings peace especially when I let go of the judgments I placed on myself.
I'm spending four weeks with my family in NC baking cookies, caroling to our neighbors, knock 'n running to families who might enjoy some Christmas cheer (hiding in the shadows of the night and watching them find Christmas goodies on their porch is priceless), camping out in the living room wearing our new Grammy Jammies by the fireplace reading the Christmas story and sipping hot chocolate and lastly sharing our Christmas morning with extended family and expressing our love for one another will wrap up 2011 as the best year of my life. We've got a baby blessing Christmas day for our new little Grandchub and a week together up in the Blue Ridge Parkway in a cabin just spending time playing games, laughing, eating, walking, planning, dreaming and talking.
From this point forward I WILL intentionally seek out relationships that enrich my life, create experiences that will enrich others' lives and share my life and love with all those I am privileged enough to connect with along the way. Life is exciting...bring on the New Year!
0 comments:
Post a Comment