IT ALMOST COST ME MY LIFE!!

I decided back in early June that I wanted to learn how to swim laps. I LOVE the water, mostly just playing and diving and stuff like that. I have a strong stroke so I've been told but there's a trick to breathing air and not inhaling water that I haven't figured out yet. 

A few weeks after making the decision to learn to do laps I found myself at Lake Powell with my boyfriend's family of swimmers and we were just going to swim over to the rocks on the other side of the little cove we were moored at (approx. 200m) and then back to the houseboat. I wasn't afraid of the water, so I thought, "why not???--it'll be a good time to practice my breathing". We dove in. I started to crawl stroke my way across. When I lost my rhythm: breathe, stroke, stroke, breathe, I stopped to check my distance expecting to be near the rocks. I was only half way. A little discouraged and getting fatigued I put my face back in the water and I reached the rocks....just barely. Without admitting to my fatigue and lack of swimming stamina, I realized the only way back was to swim. (The last time I had swam laps was four lengths of the pool back in high school--30+ years ago.) 

I was facing a pretty big problem that my pride didn't feel like announcing to my competitive and athletically superior boyfriend. There was nothing to hold on to between the rocks and the boat just in case my energy failed me. My arms already felt like noodles. Some of the group began swimming back. I wanted to rest a while longer and watched them all reach the houseboat safely with amazing speed and skill. Just Carl and I were on the rocks and it was time to get back for dinner. We hopped back in the lake and started to swim. By then the wind had come up and the water was rough (no white caps but certainly not lap pool water by any stretch) and I couldn't take a breath without water washing up over my face. I struggled the first half to exhale air AND water back into the lake face down and turning to take in another H2O-filled gulp of water before I just couldn't breath or get my arms out of the water anymore. I had a panic come over me like I've never experienced before. There was nothing to hold on to and my only option was to keep swimming but my arms were shot. I couldn't lift them, tread with them or find enough oxygen to regenerate them. I could barely get enough air to cough out the water I had taken in and communicating intelligibly seemed almost impossible outside of audible gasping for breath I couldn't seem to get under control. 

I turned over on my back, cleared my airway best I could and called out for Carl who by some miracle heard my single attempt to get his attention between his head in the water and the wind in his ears. When he swam back to me instinctively in my panic I reached out and grabbed his neck in desperation. When he went under, I knew I was about to drown us both and in what little sanity was left in my brain I determined I was NOT about to take him down in my prideful stupidity. It took every last shred of courage to let go of him, calm my flailing mind and body and trust my primal survival skills to get me back to the boat. Carl stayed right with me and talked me in. I still couldn't take in a normal breath. It was more like those short, rapid gasping breaths you take when you're suddenly submerged in super cold water--but at least I wasn't taking in water anymore. I resorted to the Chicken-Bird-Soldier rescue method I was taught when I was nine expending an exorbitant amount of kicking energy I was sure I didn't have to spend. My arms were dead. It seemed like forever to kick/C-B-S back to the boat. Had the distance been any longer than it was Carl might have had to drag me in by my neck. 

In reflection, I should have listened to my intuition when I realized half way across on my way out that there were no safety nets to get me back if I should tire too quickly. I've learned that my intuition is always right. But the competitive side of me (my ego) got the best of me and almost cost me my most precious position--my life.

Lessons learned: 

1) Learn to lap swim in a lap pool, not lake water--two totally different bodies of water.

2) Know your limits especially when there are no life lines along the way. 

Your intuition IS your safety net!

3) Don't be afraid to admit your weaknesses. 

Pride can be your worst enemy--it could even end your life!

One of my great friends, Rachel Bergman http://www.wholefit.org/, an elite athlete in her own right and personal trainer extraordinaire of Chesterfield, MO challenged her bootcampers to define the WHY behind their fitness goals. This is what one camper wrote in response:

“WHY am I doing the hard things- getting up early, working out, planning meals, cooking, eating well, etc.?

Because I want my life with food and weight to change. I want them to be elements in my life instead of defining the life I have. I want to stop being so focused on my pants size, how I compare to other women and what someone else thinks about the way I look. I want to be happy with me, to know I am strong, healthy and beautiful- no matter the tag # in my jeans, no matter what society screams a woman should look like or weigh, despite the opposing images of the Hollywood starlets. In this process, I want to learn to be okay with me.”

The powerful message she conveys here is KNOWING that she is DESERVING of the benefits that come with putting her wishes to feel good into actions and then turning those actions into daily habits. She has a DESIRE to live life at a higher level than spending days WORRYING about what she could or should be.  Instead she has DECIDED to FOCUS on being what she was meant to be in all areas of her life—thereby creating BALANCE which, in turn, lends itself to the natural side effect of inner PEACE. We are ENOUGH—let’s live like we KNOW it!

THUMBS UP!!!

When I begin working with a new client I get basic stats and record them but I don't always share them right off because for me, it's not about numbers, it's about people and helping them learn to LISTEN to what their bodies are telling them. Honestly, a bunch of "guidelines", that don't amount to much more than belittling someone by telling them they're below average, don't do a darn thing for their self-esteem--especially when they are on the brink of self-improvement. It's about people and their emotions, not about comparing ourselves to a chart that ranks us either adequate or inadequate.


My soap box is that the marketing world continues to do a great job selling us on health products that make them dollar rich and us emotionally poor. In this state of confusion I have seen friends vacillating between getting a new gizmo to tighten up their bat wings or ordering a gadget to firm up their thighs. I hear about the far-flung diets they've tried--the ones that are wildly distant from any common sense eating that might trigger a fat-burning hormonal response. Really. Have we lost our ability to decipher what is best for our health according to us?


If we weren't all as different on the inside as we are on the outside, all fad diets and exercise programs would work. But that isn't the case so we have to LISTEN to ourselves first and the "experts" second so we don't become so conflicted about what health looks like and feels like to us. I always tell my clients "you are right where you're supposed to be at this point in your life because experience has brought you here." It's true! If you find yourself unhappy with your looks, energy, habits, it's okay. Becoming dissatisfied with your lifestyle is just one of your teachers and it is what will motivate you to learn and grow and experience new and exciting changes in your life. Accept yourself as you are and feel the power that comes from self-acceptance. Give yourself a thumbs up. I'm not saying you have to settle for what is, I'm saying you can now begin to run towards what can be. 


Next time you question yourself at a point of decision concerning your health, stop and listen to that still small voice in the back of your mind that whispers, "You're okay. You're right where you're supposed to be."--then, pick and choose wisely what's best for you.

Listen To You First

I have many friends who are fans of a workout that promotes an honorable creed to never give up but also one which promotes pushing yourself through the workout until you either puke or pass out before resting. Someone recently asked me my opinion of such an extreme outlook on exercise. My response is as follows:

“I don't believe in beating yourself up until you puke or pass out for any reason. I do believe in honoring the body because it houses our spirit. I believe in listening to what your body is telling you and acting on those God-given instincts. I believe in programs that sustain health for a lifetime without injury. I believe if you’re too tired from pushing beyond fatigue, you may get injured. I believe in moderation in ALL things...extremes are not sustainable. I believe in being passionate, purposeful and driven about what you do but I also believe in maintaining balance.

One other thought is this—when health/fitness programs condition the mind to think in extremes they decondition you to think for yourself. We are bombarded by great marketing and advertising falsehoods telling us they know what's best for us. We have magazines in the fitness industry convincing mass populations they can't live without their muscle inducing supplements. Even breakfast cereal claims to lower your cholesterol by 4% in 6 weeks. (That may be true if you are eating sausage fat bombs every morning and then switch to puffy processed “whole grain” cereal.)

I believe people get out of shape, over-weight, and miserable because they stop listening to themselves first. They let all the "noise" of the world in and the barrage of information shuts down their sense of what they truly need in order to reclaim their best health. Often, decisions to buy into anything fitness comes down to price rather than purpose because their personal filters are on information over-load. I'm a huge believer in educating people about their bodies so they can make smart decisions listening to themselves first and others second. Far more fitness goals will be reached when we understand what our bodies need to feel good, not what the general pop-culture might be gravitating toward.   

All that we ought to know about returning to our original state of health is already ingrained in our inner intelligences. Answers will come if we will just listen and reconnect to the original source of our innate awareness. Instinctive truth cannot be replaced by half-truths mingled with the philosophies (or advertisements) of men. My final advice is always listen to you first and others second.”

SHAME IS A FUNNY THING.

Very early in my life I was aware that I was a people person. I had a real love for people and wanted to be with them. Deep in the dreams of my heart I could see the best in people and felt a yearning to promote their best qualities. But somewhere along my rocky childhood I tucked that dream away and lived to survive. I desired more than anything to be loved as I knew I could love others. Interestingly enough, one day the scriptures delivered a major news bulletin: “And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”  It’s not like I didn’t know this was a commandment but it hadn’t dawned on me that the love I was extended to others wasn’t as deep or as complete as it could be if I had extended this great kindness to myself first. “But, but,” I sputtered. “I was never taught to love myself!” I didn’t even know where to start! That’s when the real journey began. It took a year and it wasn’t always pretty. I’ll spare you the daily details but suffice it to say that it challenged my every thought, memory and belief about myself.

As a child, I was conditioned to believe, “there’s so much wrong with you that you’ll never be good enough to be loved”. Oooo. That sounds awful doesn’t it? Nevertheless it was how my parents felt about themselves and they projected that on to me. I just wish, as a kid, someone had told me to not take it personally and that my parents were only struggling with childhood conditioning that left them scarred. But that was something I wouldn’t discover until my early 40s. I remember trying to express my love to my parents as a kid but because of their own self-esteem issues, it wasn’t enough and I internalized it as I was unlovable.

Ideally, the order of progression for a child to learn about love is they first need to be loved. Then they learn to give love and, based on the level of acceptance by those who have been entrusted with their care, form in their own minds a level of worthiness of love. Feeling worthy of love is a defining point in a child’s life at which love for self and a deep connection with others unite. Connection is why we are here. It’s all that matters. But first we must have a connection with ourselves. It seems to be essential that we don’t just believe we could be loveable but that we know unequivocally that we are loved as is.

It’s been quite a journey for me to iron out the wrinkles of shame in my own awareness of worthiness and reconnect with this person I call self. Not only that but even though it should have been my parents’ who loved me unconditionally, it is still MY responsibility to love me.

For so long I was ashamed for ‘not being good enough’ and I hid myself from the world. I ducked my head and just raised my children and went to church and that was it. I played small. I didn’t have close friends, I rarely socialized and being noticed in public was very stressful. My greatest fear was that someone would get too close and discover I was unworthy of their love and friendship. 

Shame is a funny thing. Often it’s connected with the perception that you yourself have done something inherently wrong. That is to say that you intentionally did something that went against your truest self or your value system. I’ve since realized that I didn’t purposefully do anything to be ashamed of but was erroneously lead to believe that even my very existence was shameful. 

I’ll tell you now, shining a spotlight on yourself, flaws and all, and admitting that there is something to like about yourself is a difficult thing to do. It goes against everything I was taught to believe about myself. But the longer I stood in that deliberate spotlight looking at my qualities, values and characteristics that made me uniquely me, the easier it became to identify more things I really did like. I gave myself permission to say, “I like that about myself.” Towards the end of a year I found myself enjoying my own company, accepting that who I am is just fine and hey, what’s not to love???!!!

Making a connection between loving yourself and loving others is life changing or at least it has been for me. If you’ve always thought you were a cool cat and never doubted your lovability, count your blessings! Self-acceptance is the most loving thing we can do for ourselves. And no, it doesn’t make us selfish; it makes us real, valid and present. For me it reawakened that childhood knowing that I have a contribution to make in this world. It reminded me that I have a great love for my fellow man and I need to share it and express it freely, never looking back or letting someone diminish my dream. I am free to love my neighbor, as myself because I love myself the way God loves me. I don’t have to hide my face or play small or doubt my self-worth. It allows me to take my place in society and do what I was born to do. 


Lesson: Love of ones’ self heals everything. 
1%: Love unconditionally without the expectation of reciprocity.

FUEL for FAT LOSS

This morning I stir fried together some cabbage, mushrooms, orange pepper, onion, zucchini, asparagus tips and spinach. I put half of it in my omelet and saved the other half which I am eating right now for lunch. This is a very common meal for me. If I'm cooking, I'll usually make enough for one or two meals more.

I'll tell you now, there's not a ton of variety in my diet but I like it that way. It keeps it simple and I always enjoy my food. It's not that I'm a picky eater, I actually do like a variety of foods but maybe you can relate when I say that if I eat certain foods, there's a psychological deficit that goes along with it. I'm guilty of feeling guilty if I stray too far off the beaten path of a fat loss diet. Here's the thing: I do follow a fat loss diet, not necessarily to lose fat since I did that in a big way 7 years ago, but so I can keep it off. And besides, I feel better. Once in a while I'll give myself permission to have a box of hot and salty sweet potato fries or an ice cream cone which are my two fav go-to "day off" treats. But that's really not that often...it's more of a social outing so I can share them with a friend and chat. It's more fun that way anyway.

When I eat outside of the norm my body knows it and my energy levels drop the next day. It stands to reason that because our bodies are one continuous energy current (your heart beats on an electrical signal) that when we eat foods on the low end of the energy scale (of little nutritional value a.k.a. processed) our body energy lowers too. Intuitively, our bodies know when they are getting  fed high energy fuel, and they respond in kind. From here, the math isn't so tough: high energy foods + 30 minutes exercise = high energy and feeling great all day, every day. That's hard to beat!

I'm going shopping tomorrow. My grocery list consists of things that can be used for multiple recipes such as the kale will appear in my omelets, soup base and salad as will the turkey chops and burger because they come in larger quantities.

Groceries:
bananas
pears
apples
oranges
grapefruit
spinach
broccoli
cabbage
lettuce
collard greens
kale
zucchini
mushrooms
brussel sprouts
asparagus
sweet peas
red and orange peppers
tomatoes
carrots
celery
fresh garlic
onions
bulk chicken breasts
turkey breast
turkey breast chops
shrimp
tilapia
salmon
lean ground burger
stew meat
canned stewed tomatoes
almonds
cranberry sauce
split peas
flax milk
deli meat
part-skim mozzerela slices
eggs
cottage cheese
Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing powder


Meals:
Meat, carrot, onion and zucchini stew
Egg and veggie omelet
Salmon and asparagus
Tilapia and broccolia
Grilled turkey chops and split pea soup
Chef salad with grilled chicken and hard boiled eggs Dressing: cottage cheese creamed smooth with HV Ranch dressing packet mixed in.
Spicey green soup base with turkey bites, mushrooms, carrots, garlic and broccoli
Grilled shrimp and oven-roasted garlic brussel sprouts
Turkey and steamed sweet peas with cranberry sauce
Lemon peppered grilled chicken and zucchini spears.
Grilled chicken w/marinara sauce and grilled asparagus.
Lettuce wrapped deli meat and cheese, pickle, tomato sandwich.

There are more than two weeks worth of meals here if you count the leftovers and other combinations you can make with the remaining fish, chicken, turkey, deli meat and veggies. My point is that even though my grocery list doesn't very often stray from this (unless I toss in a rare bag of Salt and Vinegar chips cuz I'm a salt-a-holic, popcorn kernels or root beer barrels.) I can still keep variety in my diet by how I prepare the various combinations of foods. I believe in flavor so I use all kinds of spices and flavorings with the exception of mayo. I mean, a sandwich just wouldn't be a sandwich without golden mustard! And still, it remains a fat loss diet because it's dense with nutritional value, very low on carbs, (no starchy carbs...uh, well bananas are but you know...and very few grains like oatmeal and quinoa which I still have in my cupboard so they didn't make it on the list). The other key that makes this a fat loss diet is that I never allow myself to get hungry or to over stuff myself. If I'm never hungry, I always have my wits about me when I'm sitting down to eat so I'm not wolfing down my food or binging on the chips before I get real food prepared.

Ultimately the best thing you can do for yourself is eat highly nutritionally dense foods that resemble a fresh harvest.

Feel free to share any of your fat loss cooking tips in the comment box.

hash tag: itsnotyourfriend

Confession time. I probably spent three of the four weeks of holiday vacation eating Christmas cookies and pancakes and bacon with lots of syrup as the main staples for my meals. Binging on this stuff is somehow a nice change of pace although they are the antithesis of high energy foods for me.  But what-the-hey...I chose to unwind, let go and throw caution to the wind. Oh yeah. Look at me walking on the wild side. 
hashtag: partyanimal

Four weeks later I can't stop looking at my “problem areas”. A few extra pounds on my thighs are a whole other wardrobe. It’s tempting to feel bad enough about it to pop another handful of mint M&Ms into my mouth cuz that's what we do when we want to slim down. ht: addictinglittlesuckers

(How are those hash tags working for ya so far? ht: justfeltlikeit)

My thoughts in writing this post are 1) to get in my own head and remind myself of the basics, 2) make a resolve to shed the cookie dough and 3) to share with potential readers the mindset of a normal woman with food temptations and body image challenges even though I am in the fitness industry. 
ht: aintnosuperwomanhere

Just to brush up on the basics, let me remind "us" that when we think of “losing weight” we think of numbers dropping on the scale. I find myself standing on it once in a while which makes me roll my eyes at myself. Of course, the scale's indicating "weight" loss aka water loss, not fat loss which is all that matters if the goal is to lean out, which it is. The scale is not our friend! Besides, have you ever noticed that when you stand on the scale two things happen simultaneous: 1) you judge yourself and 2) the instant replay of any bad things you ate begins to scroll through your mind at warp speed. Seriously, we would probably unfriend ourselves for verbal abuse if we mic-ed our minds and replayed the audio version of our negative thoughts. It's best to stay off it. Better yet, get rid of it. ht: genius

So now it's back to the lifestyle that I've been on 7 years running. Detours don't hurt as long as you don't abandon your good habits for long. My clothes are the first thing to give me a clue I'm on the right track so I use that as my main gauge. And then the magic begins to happen when I'm about 4 weeks into a consistent diet of lean meats, vegetables and fruits and exercising with intensity. ht: saynotostarchycarbs

Here's my resolve for the next couple of months (with the exception of Valentines chocolates...especially the chocolate truffles and caramels #notsharing):  workouts will be done first thing in the morning to jump start my metabolism; I’ll be drinking water all day long. I will drink 1 green drink a day (kale, spinach, green cabbage, zucchini, asparagus, garlic, ginger). I will eat every two hours and only fill my tank to 80% capacity 5 to 6 times a day. And I will get min 8 hrs. of sleep each night. ht: snapsnapsnap

My 1% focus will be to say something positive about how I look or feel as I look at myself naked in the mirror. Let’s be real, there is no greater point of reality than standing in your birthday suit looking at yourself square in the eye and holding yourself accountable to a commitment of better health. ht: graphicvisual-tmi.